Leaving Christianity was one of the most liberating decisions I’ve ever made. After spending years entrenched in religious practices and beliefs, I finally found the courage to step away and explore spirituality on my own terms. This decision wasn’t easy, but the freedom it brought has allowed me to embrace who God made me to be, without the constraints of organized religion.
My parents guided me through “the prayer” when I was about five. I barely remember that moment; only a snapshot remains in my mind. At this point, I question if that memory is even real. Throughout my childhood, I prayed that prayer repeatedly, especially whenever the fear of Hell gripped me. I would confess my sins, vow to be a better Christian, and invite Him into my heart once again.
A good relationship is supposed to be built on love, not fear.
My first spiritual experience occurred when I attended youth group camp for the first time. For the first time, I felt like my faith became my own. So ,I eagerly put my new spiritual tools to work—quiet time, Bible study, inviting friends to church, you name it. However, I also made my share of colorful choices that Christianity did not sanction.
Christianity’s guilt and shame are intense, and I felt their weight throughout my entire Christian journey. Leaving Christianity allowed me to reflect on the impact of these emotions on my life and well-being.
Today, my life experiences showed me the importance of faith and the brokenness of all religions. Some people might need the rules of religion to live a good life. However, the rules that come with religion seem to only hurt and hold people back. There’s a reason every church organization encounters major problems at some point. Mr. Sexy and I are career Christians, yet we have never experienced a healthy church system. This realization was a pivotal moment in my decision to consider leaving Christianity.
The most fundamental teaching of the Christian church is to accept Jesus as your savior so you can go to Heaven instead of Hell. They use fear to coax uneducated and desperate people into their organization. Since a church needs money to survive, it needs members to tithe. To me, this is hugely problematic.
The Christian church struggles to teach the Bible accurately because they understand so little of it. Context is everything, yet very few pastors preach with that lens. I have many questions about the Bible, and I only started questioning when I felt like I had permission to do so. That permission came from within—a knowing that things aren’t what they seem. The more open-minded I become, the more open I can be to understanding God.
In most religious circles I’ve been part of, this kind of openness and questioning is generally unwelcome. Even in circles that are more open-minded, my questions and ideas tend to create barriers. The other person often becomes defensive, and I understand why. Most of us base our entire lives on some type of faith or spiritual philosophy, believing we are right, and others are wrong. But I don’t think it’s that simple.
What if we’re all a little bit right? And a little bit wrong?
The Good Place does a fantastic job of exploring the afterlife. In fact, this show helped me broaden my own ideas of what could be. Initially, I found the concept of The Good Place troubling because I already had my ideas set on how the afterlife works. I expected to go to Heaven, choose wings, and be happy. But what if there is so much more? This show provides opportunity for my inner creative to come out and play.
Christians also teach that God is in control and everything that happens is God-ordained. Or, depending on who you talk to, God doesn’t inflict pain; He just allows it to happen. Some call this the free will component. We are taught to pray for all kinds of things as if prayer alone can give your car a new engine or solve family trauma.
Love in action is what should make someone a Christian. However, most Christians prefer to pray instead of acting. Love is a verb. God is love. To follow God, we must act with our mouths, hands, and feet.
Leaving Christianity has been a journey of self-discovery, challenging beliefs, and finding a deeper connection with the divine. This path has not been without its struggles, but the freedom to question, explore, and grow spiritually has been worth it. I now embrace a spirituality that is not confined by fear or rigid rules, but is open to love, understanding, and the limitless possibilities of what God truly is.
