Karma is… Kickboxing in Long Beach

I recently tried kickboxing in Long Beach for the first time and loved it! But you know what? I almost completely chickened out. This wouldn’t be a regular kickboxing class in a studio with total strangers exercising right next to me. This class would take place outside their normal studio, specifically for the Long Beach Walking Club (LBWC).

People attend workout classes for all kinds of reasons, right? Well, LBWC primarily focuses on social engagement. In my experience, that creates a different vibe from hitting the gym during lunch every week for kickboxing.

For me, walking alone into a new experience surrounded by mostly strangers can feel difficult and even scary. Then again, I’ve always felt this way. For instance, during my early Pure Romance days, I felt shy and out of place at team events because I didn’t know anybody. Fast-forward five years, and I’ve become the life of the party, even showing off my nipple to the rest of the room to prove I have the largest one.

As I write this, I grapple with a question: Is this part of who I am, or does it signify insecurity? Perhaps my discomfort in group settings stems from not feeling comfortable in my own skin. That theory seems plausible and will be explored later.

For now, let’s return to Bixby Knolls Park, where I started walking toward a small group of mostly women standing under a big tree. They chatted among themselves with big smiles beneath their dark sunglasses.

My tummy didn’t feel good.

I seriously considered turning around and walking home.

Nobody would know but me. I could easily lie to Mr. Sexy and just relax at the beach before heading home. Even if I told him I skipped kickboxing in Long Beach, he wouldn’t care or shame me. In fact, he would likely be happy to have me around for that extra time.

Sigh.

I knew deep down that attending would be the best thing for me. So, I put one foot in front of the other and approached the group.

“Is this the Walking Ladies group?” I asked, feeling like a dumbass. But really, that was my way of greeting the group and establishing some presence.

I recognized two women but couldn’t remember either of their names. So yes, my walls definitely went up during that class. Regardless, I gathered my courage and sought connection at every opportunity. Sometimes, those opportunities presented themselves just for me.

For instance, when I set my stuff down by the big tree, I staged my phone. My screen saver features a naked silhouetted picture of me. I placed my phone on top of my bright pink sequined drawstring bag, screen up for everyone to see. I hoped at the very least this would make someone take a second glance and become intrigued about the phone’s owner.

As we mingled and waited for class to start, an Eras Tour t-shirt caught my eye. Not just any t-shirt—the kind you buy only at the stadium. I know this because I didn’t buy my Eras Tour t-shirt at my show in Seattle. The lines were too long, and I thought I could buy one from the official website. No luck. So, when I saw this woman in her Eras Tour shirt, I figured we’d become fast besties.

What I keep having to re-learn is that having one thing in common, even being a Swiftie, doesn’t guarantee actual chemistry.

Like an eager puppy, I asked my new bestie if she wanted to partner up.

“Sure,” she said. She seemed kind and willing to partner up with me, too.

I asked her a few questions about Taylor Swift, and she asked me questions in return. Then we started the kickboxing portion, and I began to feel a little frustrated. I felt eager to connect with this new Swiftie friend, even though she was very different from me—single, no kids, and lived in LB most of her life.

Long story short, I don’t think we vibed enough to form anything beyond an acquaintance-level friendship, and that’s okay. While I’d love to have a Swiftie Bestie, I’d rather not force a friendship that doesn’t feel authentic.

To sum up, while I didn’t discuss how much I enjoyed the kickboxing class itself, the opportunities to connect with other women keep me coming back for more. The activities we do together are a bonus, making it much less awkward to practice the art of developing friendships. I enjoyed my first experience kickboxing in Long Beach.