How Taylor Swift Eras Tour Helps Me Make Friends

Despite the immense popularity of the Taylor Swift Eras Tour, I still have to be cautious about revealing my Swiftie status. It’s intriguing how one person can be simultaneously so popular and polarizing. Honestly, I don’t understand all the negativity surrounding her and her art. But hey, maybe that’s what defines me as a Swiftie.

Recently, a new friend invited me to speak on her platform about sexuality. I eagerly accepted to practice using my voice again. It felt like a safe opportunity, although I wouldn’t redo this particular interview.

When attending a new event, I always think about the first impressions I want to make. What impression do I want to leave? For this interview, I wore my overalls and Taylor Swift Eras Tour t-shirt that I bought online. It’s not official Eras Tour merch you’ll find in the stadiums, though. I also wore my weed earrings and my cross necklace to cover all my bases as best as possible.

And like any other conversation I’m part of, I found a way to bring up Taylor Swift Eras Tour.

Their first question was, “Have you listened to her new albums?”

“Of course! It’s all I’m listening to!” I said enthusiastically.

“Really?!” they exclaimed wide-eyed. “You’re the first person we know who likes her new music!”

At that moment, my gut churned a little, and I realized I was in the wrong room with the wrong group of people. According to this small group of feminists, her music sounds repetitive and carries racial undertones in some songs. Now, I believe we all have racial biases to work through, and I think it’s important to acknowledge that we were three white girls discussing one line from one song that they (and others) view as racist.

Now, if you know me at all, dissing Taylor Swift is the number one way to get removed from my friends’ list.

I no longer feel ashamed of how much I admire and feel inspired by Taylor Swift, particularly after her Rep Era comeback and now the Eras Tour. However I felt defensive during that conversation, which frustrated me. I don’t believe that was their intent, but that’s how it ended up.

For some reason, these feminists seized on a passing comment I made about my love for Taylor Swift and focused solely on the negatives. I felt defensive not only for myself but also for her—which I understand might sound silly. But then again, if you know me in real life, you know how dedicated I am to the people, causes, and artists I invite into my life. I’m a die-hard fan or not a fan at all.

Now, fast forward a few weeks. I attended my first women’s-only social with the Long Beach Walking Ladies. I didn’t know a soul, which was unnerving. But by the end of the event, I had exchanged multiple numbers and gained a few new followers on Instagram. The night went so well that by the end, I decided to bravely bring up my favorite topic: Taylor Swift Eras Tour.

This time, the reaction was completely different from the conversation a few weeks ago, yet the content was similar. Instead of wide-eyed skepticism and criticism, they smiled and cheered as I shared how I attended the Eras Tour with my daughter.

I knew I wasn’t among a group of five women who would call themselves Swifties in any sense of the word. However, each of them accepted this part of me in those moments. One of them did bring up the race issue—and this time, I stood in a group of women as the minority, the only white girl.

I listened to comments about how some fans take to social media to say bizarre, apparently racist things. At the same time, we all acknowledged that every major star with a cult-like fandom, like Taylor Swift or Beyoncé, has those extreme fans who are just plain nasty. Those people exist everywhere.

So, for me, being a Swiftie helps me discern the kinds of friendships I want to pursue.

While I would love to find a best friend who would pay an arm and a leg to go to Taylor Swift Eras Tour with me, I’m also perfectly okay finding a bestie who can appreciate my love for the superstar while I appreciate their love for whoever they are into.