When I began my journey of self-exploration through OnlyFans, I had no idea how much I would learn about myself—especially in terms of discovering new kinks and sexual preferences. However, what I’ve come to realize is that these desires weren’t necessarily new at all. In fact, they had been there all along, hidden beneath layers of societal expectations and self-imposed boundaries. As I gradually gave myself permission to explore, I uncovered parts of my sexuality that I had never fully embraced. Now, I’m on a journey to not only own these desires but also celebrate the freedom that comes with truly knowing myself.
I started my OnlyFans account about a year ago, and since then, I’ve evolved. As a result, I enjoy the person I’m becoming on the other side of this journey. On one hand, I imagine some people have mega questions they aren’t sure how to ask. If that’s you, I appreciate it. If you don’t know how to express yourself in a kind way and aren’t using ChatGPT to help, maybe it’s better to just keep watching in silence. Who knows? By watching, you might even discover a new kink for yourself, too.
Throughout this journey of discovering new kinks and sexual preferences, I’ve realized that sometimes these kinks aren’t entirely new. In fact, many of them have been with me for quite some time—even dating back to childhood. You and I both know that a kink won’t fully emerge until a certain level of sexual maturity kicks in, but the seeds can be there early on.
For example, my parents used to joke about how I’d sit in front of a mirror for hours, entertained by my own reflection. Fast forward to my 30s, and now I’m experimenting with masturbating while watching my reflection in the bathroom mirror—or even through a camera lens. Therefore, I think this kink has always been with me, but I never gave myself permission to fully explore it or name it for what it is.
Now, I rarely watch porn or view erotic content when I masturbate. Not even movies or TV shows, which used to be my go-to. Hello, 50 Shades! But not anymore. Instead, I get off by looking at my own pictures and videos. Interestingly enough, the fact that I like to masturbate to myself is probably a kink for someone else, too.
Next, let’s talk about the P-word: Permission. That’s a big one. I grew up trained to be a “good Christian girl,” but I’ve also rebelled against that identity my whole life. First and foremost, I never liked the rules, even though they provided a sense of safety for navigating life. For example, the Ten Commandments are pretty solid rules to live by. However, I wouldn’t be where I am today if I hadn’t broken free from that Christian cage.
Christianity taught that true freedom is found through Jesus Christ, and maybe that’s true for some. But perhaps, true freedom isn’t always tied to religious practices. By leaving the church, maybe I finally found the freedom I’d heard preached about my entire life.
So, when I started my OnlyFans page, I had to work through a lot of mental blocks. Well, maybe not a lot, but they certainly felt huge at the time. Mr. Sexy and I had countless conversations about it, though not in the way you might expect. With every step of creating my first OnlyFans account, I looked to him for support—but mostly for permission.
At that time, I hadn’t yet entered therapy, so I didn’t realize I was dealing with internal shame and self-judgment. I still cared too much about maintaining some kind of “respectable” image. As a result, I created a page where I could post sexy content under the guise of education. But here’s the thing—teaching isn’t really my passion. I fell into the role of Christian sex educator through Pure Romance, and that lens stuck with me even when I outgrew it. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t dislike teaching, but it doesn’t excite me. Now, I’m in a place where I can do what I want without the pressure of making money just to put food on the table.
All that being said, I still have a lot to unpack from this recent journey of discovering new kinks and sexual preferences, and I welcome you to join me on this wild ride. That doesn’t necessarily mean spicy content—unless that’s what you’re looking for, of course—but who knows? By following this part of my journey, maybe you’ll discover new permissions and kinks for yourself. And when all is said and done, I hope you find your own sexual prowess, so you can become your number one Only Fan.
