I went running morning and had to talk myself into it. Five minutes later the biting wind and destructive self-talk turned me around. I let myself down and I beat myself up for. The self-will that usually urges me forward every morning must have been left Between The Sheets.
My hair whip-lashed in front of my face and all around my head as the cold air pressed against my face. I gave in to the inner child that throws fits, crossing my arms against my chest and basically throwing a tantrum as I walked home. Just tell yourself to find the good in the moment, I told myself. Live a great life, not a good one.” Truth be told, all that did was piss me off even more.
Running is hard work.
I used to be the person that said things like: “Running isn’t for me.” “I’m not a runner.” “Running is boring.” “I hate running.” And you know what? All of those statements are perfectly true. What you tell yourself to be true, is your truth. And so running was all of those negative things for me.
What you tell yourself, becomes your truth.
I started reading this book called, “The Artist Way,” and along that same time I discovered the basic concept of, “Tiny Habits.” I knew I wanted to be healthy, maybe even lose a few pounds. I also realized the need to be alone with my own thoughts and allowing my inner creative a bit of freedom. So, My goal was to move my body for only 20 minutes a day which turned into a brisk walk which blossomed into a combination of running and walking.
Running is, in fact, enjoyable!
When I give myself that freedom of course. I have had some of my best conversations with God during these 20 minutes of my day. I have worked through personal frustrations, problems with my business and emotions surrounding my family. Going for my run has become an integral part of my morning – just me, my Creator and the gravel road. What’s interesting, is even though this morning’s run was a major bust… I still gleaned something from.
In the chaos of my tired mind I found the silver lining.
As I walked down my driveway, I realized how often I stare at my feet while I walk. Looking up I noticed the hills of grass swaying with the wind and the heavy who-o-o-sh-sh through our 100 year old trees. I found myself wondering what all I miss out on because I’m constantly looking down, watching my next steps. Could it be possible I’m missing out on something happening to my left, to my right or straight in front of me because I lack the faith to look up?
What am I missing by looking down all the time?
And so I practiced walking the rest of way to my house looking up and around and all around. Easier said than done, I might add. I could see out of my peripheral, however it still felt unnerving not knowing exactly where my foot was going to land next. I found my eyes would wander back down and multiple times forcing my eyes back up.
Could this also be hindering me in business goals? In my personal goals? Am I so obsessed with putting one foot perfectly in front of the other that I’m missing the point? How can I get to where I want if I’m not looking up in the first place?
So, even on today’s “stupid failure” of a run, I still received what I look for every single day: My Inner Creative. And here I am now, writing this blog post in hopes that my journey might encourage you today. The only way you fail, is by not getting back up and doing your thing. Tomorrow morning I’ll put my blue running shoes back on my feet, pray for less wind and hit the gravel. This time, though, with my head up and eyes looking forward.
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