Sex is a dirty word. It’s scary to talk about. In fact, your friends judge you when you bring it up. Church, for the most part, doesn’t want to talk bout sex. Unless, of course, it’s talked about in the “right way.” Sex is a taboo subject and one that should be skirted at every opportunity.
Can you resonate with any of these statements? Have you grown up with any of these ideologies? While some of the above statements are on the extreme side, I personally have to fight through these negative connotations to support a healthy lifestyle for my marriage, my kids and my career.
My job is so funny to me because I grew up in a conservative, Christian household where sex was taboo, masturbation a sin and abstinence was the only option. I know different, now. In fact, I would say that I know BETTER. Sex is power used for good or bad. But you probably knew that already. I mean, who hasn’t seen at least few episodes of Law & Order: SVU?
“Sex desire is the most powerful of human desires. When driven by this desire, men develop keenness of imagination, courage, willpower, persistence, and creative ability unknown to them at other times.”
– Napoleon Hill, Think & Grow Rich
Napoleon Hill took his 25 years of researching highly successful entrepreneurs and spends an entire chapter uncovering truths about the power of sex. People who are the most successful had a high sexual appetite. For some, this meant many sexual partners while for others it meant one great love.
This further tells me how powerful sex can be in our lives.
Here’s the thing, though, with the wrong framework, sex can destroy everything. Take pornography, for instance. The visual representation of sex in porn is degrading, addicting and ass-backward of what sexual intimacy is supposed to be. I might even go so far as to say that porn is part of our culture in what we watch on tv or in movies. I do not understand why sex must be so visual on the screen when a quick shot of the bedroom can tell us all we need to know.
So, I can understand why some religious communities are afraid of the power of sex. It’s perverse and twisted in much of our society. We have taken a beautiful gift and exploited it. It’s no wonder so many marriages are failing and relationships struggle to enjoy a healthy sex life.
You have the power to change the conversation about sex.
Sex no longer has to carry the negative stigma you might have grown up with. You don’t have to engage in an unhealthy sexual experience because it’s seen as “okay” on the television screen. You can allow yourself the freedom to explore your body and get to know YOU.
Try this quick, 15 minute exercise. First, ensure you have privacy by putting a movie on for the kids and locking your bedroom door. Put together a playlist of about 5 songs that help you feel sensual ( I know you know what these songs are, peeps). After you start the music, strip down until you are completely naked in front of your mirror. Now the hard part is done and all you have to do is appreciate every curve, every mark and allow the music to move you.
Embrace the moment and allow yourself freedom to explore.
As you give yourself into what’s happening, you might find your hands start to move around on your body. This is a good thing, friend. This is a safe place for you to get to know you and acknowledge that you are a sexual being. And more than that, being sexual is healthy and positive. You are finally putting some positive framework around the conversation for yourself.
Sex doesn’t have to be a dirty word. Not anymore. You don’t have to shy away from the conversation. You can be a sexual person and a Jesus person all at once.
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