“Can you just finish me off,” he says.

Out of obligation and insecurity, you do.

He rolls over and falls asleep while you lay there with silent tears.

This isn’t the first time you have carried out these sentiments.

You do it because you know that you were a tease, and being a tease is sexy.

However, being a tease and not following through is not sexy.

In fact, being a tease means you’re obligated to make sure and “finish the job.”

This story may or may not be familiar to you. However, this was my story for far too long.

What’s incredibly frustrating is I knew I could say no.

I knew I had the right to not engage if I didn’t want to. I had seen the commercials, heard the talks and read the books. The thing is, that when you’re in those real life moments, truth gets foggy. What becomes real are the emotions and, yes, obligations. And what is the opposite of truth? Lies. 

It wasn’t until I met, dated and married Mr. Sexy that I was introduced to something different.

He figured out very quickly that sex was a delicate conversation with or without clothes on. He showed me what true intimacy could look like. This process is ongoing in our relationship. It takes a lot of time and love to heal from years of feeling unworthy, being used and only loved according to the world’s standards.

Here’s a truth I want you to hang on to: You are worthy. You deserve to enjoy a healthy sex life. You are capable of being loved beyond your wildest imagination. 

I say these things because too many women share a story similar to this. Too many share a story that is much, much worse. My hope is that you can find your value. My prayer is that you can open yourself to see how worthy you are of being loved in a way that does feel wonderful.

I would love to continue the conversation with you if this story resonates with you on any level, if you have questions or if you simply want someone to talk to about it. Please send me an email or you can leave a comment below. 

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