Karma is… A Self-Love Journey

Dear Jessica,

You’re on a self-love journey, whether you realize it or not. So I’m writing to show you just how far you’ve come and what a beautiful life you have created for yourself. For a long time, you have felt like you are on the cusp of something big, as if one more step in the right direction will take you there. Here’s the secret sauce, though: The one right path doesn’t exist. Not really.

Instead you get to go where you’re going through your own self-love journey.

The beauty is you get to choose which pathways you want to take. This, my love, is freedom. This is how you live a life of joy where your creative freak can fly however you want.

Now, when you look in the mirror, be sure to see the strong, powerful, empathetic, and kind woman standing in front of you. She isn’t an evil toad because of her past mistakes, either. She grew through those fuck-ups and has since outgrown those old skins. You aren’t that terrible person anymore.

And you know what, bitch? You never even were. Doing bad things doesn’t always make someone a bad person. And you are very far from being a bad person.

So, when you are ready to stop hating who you once were, your heart can open to the yearnings you’ve felt your entire life. Perhaps you will even finish one of those uber-important stories you have rolling around in your head all the time.

This self-love journey you’re on is absolutely beautiful and gut-wrenching.

The way you allow your pain to move through you is stunning, and one day you will feel safe to express that process through your art—all kinds of art. So I want you to pursue all the ideas you have, but not all at once. You have enough time in this life to do literally everything you want to do. However, you can’t do it all at once, and I know that’s a struggle for you. You want to see results and feel good for a day’s job done. But that’s not how the self-love journey works, and that’s not how your creative genius works, either.

Your genius is in your play, your willingness to experiment and try new things. All that passion and fury trapped inside your body aches to come out and present themselves to the world. And to unleash that power, you must learn to trust.

Learning to trust, love, and accept yourself will be the ingredients to move from feeling stuck to feeling free and vibrant, making an impact on the world around you.

The thing is, Jess, you may not think you have any hobbies or friends or attainable life goals right now. But you do. You have everything you need to do everything you want already. And, Bitch, you don’t even need an $18k business coach to help you get where you want to be.

What you need to do is focus on your self-love journey.

I love how much you love Frankie from the Netflix show Grace and Frankie. She inspires you, just as I inspire you. Those ideas about naked yoga, learning to paint, playing the piano, and using your own body as your muse are all pictures of your future. Doesn’t it look fun? Which do you want to experience first? Last? It doesn’t matter because you have so much time.

There will be more tough times ahead, too. That’s part of life, babe. But now you know things you didn’t know before. You have tools you didn’t have, and as you practice them, they will become second nature. There will even come a time when you will want to teach others what you’ve learned along the way. Your desire to help people is special because you take action to make it real.

I also admire that you can notice the smell of your own bullshit. You aren’t afraid to pull back or change up what you’re doing when it feels less than authentic. So, as you make more choices that show how much you believe in yourself, trust builds. You become stronger and less afraid of how strangers will perceive your mark on the world.

As you move forward in this new life you’ve begun to build on the beach, allow space to dream.

The dreams you had 10 years ago are probably different now because you are different now. You get to continue dreaming, though, no matter your age or status of life. Dreams are the beacon light that keeps us going through those times of hell. Kind of like the hell that got you here to the beach in the first place.

You think that shit happened by accident? No, Bitch. You followed your gut, your heart, your intuition. And look at how it’s benefited your life: Ciena is safe and happy with her grandparents. Your other three kids are adjusting to this new life. Timothy doesn’t get stress stomach aches anymore, Emily doesn’t hurt herself, and Evan seems happy (though he would never ever tell us that).

You’re doing a wonderful job.

I’m so proud of you.

And I’m proud of us.

With all the love in the world,

Jessica Leigh Biles, the 80-year-old sexy-as-hell version of you