When COVID hit, my company was ready. We had already been connecting with our CEO every Monday at 6 AM, so transitioning to a daily morning call felt natural. It took me a while to jump on the bandwagon, but when I did, I was pumped. Every single morning, I felt inspired, motivated, and valued. These calls became part of my journey toward finding self-worth as a mom. I showed up at 6 AM, sometimes still under my comforter, sometimes in full workout attire, and other times barely functioning yet, sitting up and sipping my coffee. But it was worth it, every time. I invested in myself and in others, scanning the chat box to see who needed a boost of encouragement or tips to move forward in their business.
Then, my company did something pretty cool. They started sending out cards and gifts to us for being part of this daily call! And then, five of us received $1,000 in cold, hard cash. In fact, my CEO specifically said the cash was for something other than business. What a wonderful gift for those five ladies!
I kept showing up for the daily calls. However, over time, my mindset shifted, and I didn’t even realize it. I found myself more concerned with being noticed by corporate so I could potentially win more rewards. Since I am highly motivated by the possibility of winning, showing up for these early morning calls began to feel like a job—something I had to do. Using Zoom added to this feeling, making it seem like a performance to be noticed, rather than focusing on finding self-worth as a mom through my contributions.
Ugh. It’s frustrating how much recognition matters to me. For instance, every year (except my first year in business), I received a gift for my personal retail sales. It became something I worked towards and expected to receive—something to look forward to. And I’m a girl who loves getting presents! (Just ask Mr. Sexy.) So, when I had my most challenging year in business and still had significantly high sales to report, I was incredibly disappointed not to receive “my” gift.
Were my sales enough to earn the gift? Was I the number one in sales for our team? Had I earned a gift at all? Or was I completely undeserving because I was well under my record year of over $120k in retail sales the year prior? I don’t know the answers to any of these questions. And it’s something I have to be okay with because here’s what I’m learning…
The best recognition comes from within.
I am my own competition. I’m capable of rewarding myself for every goal I hit. I don’t need someone else to validate my work. When I seek validation from others, I feel stressed and frustrated. To be authentic, I can develop an arrogance around my work. This isn’t the life I want to lead. This isn’t the person I want to be. Finding self-worth as a mom is about understanding that I don’t need external validation to feel valued.
My mission is to show up for you. Yes, YOU. The woman who needs to hear my words at this moment. The woman who feels less than, who feels like she’s never enough, and who feels like she’s slowly dying inside. My mission is YOU. And when you send me a DM on Instagram telling me that something I’ve shared has touched you, YOU bring me to tears. Tears that spill down my cheeks and onto my neck. Because you gave me…
Recently, I had to take some time off from social media and my business. I wasn’t quite sure why, but I just felt over it all. I felt like I was working for “nothing,” working for less than what I felt I “deserved.” During that time, I did some day drinking and binge-watching. I also spent more time with my kids and rediscovered a past hobby of mine. Through all of that, I realized I had been working towards the wrong things. The times when I’ve had the most success are when I focus more on my mission than anything else. Those are the times I feel more fulfilled.
So, hold me accountable, friend. If you’re reading this, you are who I’m here for. I’m working to serve you to the best of my ability through girl parties, motivational Instagram stories, or just being a friend who can listen to what’s happening in your relationship. I will show up for my daily calls with my CEO, prepared to give more than I receive. I will work my business and practice removing the expectation of any reward outside of myself. In doing so, I’m on a journey of finding self-worth as a mom, and I hope you’ll join me on this path of self-discovery and growth.Let’s stay connected!
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