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The Elusive Date Night 

 October 21, 2019

By  Jessica Biles

When was the last time you had a date night? 

Until about a week ago, I couldn’t remember, either. Turns out that raising a family, building a mini farm, developing friendships and running multiple businesses keeps you busy. So busy, in fact, that it’s easy to forget that you are sexy and desirable. 

I’m a huge proponent of a regular Date Night. In fact it used to be a rule that Mr. Sexy and I do Date Night weekly. That was easier back when we had two kids, built in child care and neither of us had “real” jobs yet. Over the years our family has grown and our careers took root. So date night was put on the back burner.

It’s easy to forget about date night and prioritize other things. Important things. Like back to school night at the beginning of the school year. Or going to Costco to over-buy in bulk while the kids enjoy filling up on samples. And then by the end of the day you’re both exhausted, so you plop down to veg to some television, cocktails in hand. You then stumble into bed a little on the late side and wake up the next morning to do it all over again.

If you can relate to this, you might also realize the lack of intimacy in your relationship, too. I have been there with Mr. Sexy multiple times. I think intimacy is a never ending process. There is always more to learn, more to share and more places to go. 

Playing together is essential for your connection. Have you ever thought about why the divorce rate is so high? I believe that it’s an intimacy issue, in large part. 

Yes, there are other factors, however ride with me for a minute. 

What if you took a few minutes to appreciate your spouse? It can be physical, emotional, mental or spiritual. What if you held hands while shopping at Costco and let the kids push the cart? Or, better yet, leave the kids at home or drop them off with the grandparents. Grocery shopping just got a lot more fun! (Especially if you bring the box office into the mix.)

These simple practices can help you and your partner maintain connection, even through the difficult times. When life happens, and you have the base work of intimacy in the simplest of ways, you are better equipped to walk through the storm. 

Together. 

So start where you are. 

Today. Right now. Send a text, offer a kiss, hold a hand.

Plan your next Costco trip without the kids.

It doesn’t matter where you are in your relationship. 

I believe it’s worth working on. 

Jessica Biles

Jessica Biles is a leading expert on women’s sexual health and wellness in the Pacific Northwest. An award winning “sexpert”, it is her goal to help any woman enjoy a fulfilling and vibrant sex life.

Jessica is highly recognized and endorsed as a trainer by the world’s leading sexual education company, Pure Romance. A 6-figure entrepreneur, she leveraged her sexual health thought leadership to earn a spot in the top 3% of her industry.

An active member of her community, Jessica has worked with nonprofits like Open Arms Pregnancy Center and local area churches to bring attention to and demystify sexual intimacy issues.

Jessica is on a mission to help women and couples have the important conversations to enjoy a better sex life.

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