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Confidence: Choosing the Right Lens to Find It 

 July 5, 2020

By  Jessica Biles

Confidence in your body and your own skin starts with YOU. It starts by choosing which lens you will view yourself through in that moment. For instance, when looking at your thighs, do you see lumps of fat that are forever stuck too close together or the sensuality of how your partner enjoys your thighs and all that entails?

Confidence builds or tears down based on the lens you choose to wear in any given moment.

Confidence in the bedroom has been a conversation in my Instagram direct messages lately. To be honest, one of these chats struck me more specifically. She and her husband are enjoying over 20 years of marriage. And even after all those years, she confided that they enjoy their sex life very much and are, in fact, looking to spice things up a bit. In fact, I was surprised when she told me she is struggling with body confidence.

Body confidence is a universal struggle among women.

What I have found, unfortunately, is nobody is immune to this struggle. It’s universal. There is a Resistance toward seeing the powerhouse within which must we fight every single day. The thing is, this fight is most often unseen because it’s in the mind. You see, how you choose to see yourself and talk about yourself to yourself spills outwardly in your life. For instance, what if you thought about this for a few moments: Why do you eat what you do? What made you choose your outfit today? How do you approach intimacy with your partner? These questions are rooted in confidence.

Allow your partner to speak truths into your mind, and as you accept them as your own, you will see a beautiful shift in your reflection.

Fortunately, Mr. Sexy who tells me and shows me every day that I am sexy, beautiful and nothing short of a bad ass. However, those traits I don’t easily acknowledge in my mind. I tend to wear the lens of what the world looks for as sexy, beautiful and bad ass. Yet, this lens is false. A stranger’s opinion of my body is shit. The truth is, my husband’s insights into who I truly am are the most valuable assets to finding my confidence. And your partner can do the same for you.

Switch your lens and change your life.

So, I started to take note of who I see in the mirror as I get dressed, and then I wondered, What if I could see what Mr. Sexy sees? As I thought about that, looking into my naked face and greasy hair, I began to see a girl who is pretty. Also, the more I looked through my new lens, I realized my sexy curves, my sensual thighs and simplicity of natural beauty. Now, I have to let you know this: Changing my mindset is a daily fight. Every single morning I get to choose who I want to be that day. And also keep in mind that this isn’t easy. There is no overnight cure to fall in love with yourself.

Every singe day, you choose who you are.

All this to say, I truly believe in the power of choosing your own thoughts and you have the power to decide what you allow in and what you let go of. The choice is yours, my friend. We are in this together!

Let’s stay connected!

Get a snippet of who I am and what I do by heading to my main website.

Mr. Sexy & I also produce a weekly podcast dedicated to helping couples find their inner resiliency regardless of what lives throws at them.

Are you curious about becoming a copy writer to make some extra cash? Check out Nicki’s Page!

And I love to be social! Hang with me on Instagram, Facebook, and Tik Tok! I even have a private Girl Group for women who want to further connect in a fun way.

Jessica Biles

Jessica Biles is a leading expert on women’s sexual health and wellness in the Pacific Northwest. An award winning “sexpert”, it is her goal to help any woman enjoy a fulfilling and vibrant sex life.

Jessica is highly recognized and endorsed as a trainer by the world’s leading sexual education company, Pure Romance. A 6-figure entrepreneur, she leveraged her sexual health thought leadership to earn a spot in the top 3% of her industry.

An active member of her community, Jessica has worked with nonprofits like Open Arms Pregnancy Center and local area churches to bring attention to and demystify sexual intimacy issues.

Jessica is on a mission to help women and couples have the important conversations to enjoy a better sex life.

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