Remove sexual shame and guilt from your life because its essential, particularly if you were raised in an environment where sex was a taboo topic. Let’s face it: discussing sex can be uncomfortable and awkward, but it doesn’t have to be. In this post, we will explore three effective strategies that can help you and those around you remove sexual shame and guilt once and for all. Are you ready to take the first step? Let’s dive in!
Remove Sexual Shame by Talking to Your Children About Sex
Firstly, talking to your kids about sex is absolutely essential. As uncomfortable as it may be, creating a safe and open space for your children to ask questions and learn about their bodies using proper terminology can empower them to make informed decisions about their sexual health and wellbeing. Now you might be thinking: But Jess my kid is only 5 years old! The key is to meet your child where they are at and always begin with the basics. For instance, just like you teach your little boy about that he has a nose, also teach him that he has a penis.
Now, It’s also important to teach sex education in schools to break down barriers and help the next generation grow up without shame and guilt surrounding sex. This is easier said than done though, right? Oftentimes it seems our sex education in this country is more of a joke that perpetuates messages of sexual shame than anything else. So what does it all boil down to? Well, what we need are more educators willing to educate educators about how to educate on sexuality. Simple enough, right?
Removing Sexual Shame: Educating Yourself about Sex and Sexual Health
Now, I know what you might be thinking, “But I don’t even know where to begin!” Don’t worry, you’re not alone. Many of us are learning the basics of anatomy as adults! All that to say, educating yourself about sex and sexual health is the second step to removing sexual shame from your life. You can start by taking reading a blog post (just like this), reading a book on sexuality, listening to a podcast and a myriad of other things. You don’t have to make your entire life about looking for sex education resources. However you do have opportunity to incorporate pieces of in a natural way in your life.
Getting yourself into therapy or counseling to address any past traumas related to sex can also help remove shame and guilt. What many people don’t realize is how much the body holds on to trauma. For instance, it is quite possible for a person that is raped to experience physical vaginal pain for the rest of their life because that is how the trauma chose to manifest itself. While I’m not a trauma specialist by any means, I have my own share of working through traumas and observing how much trauma talks through our bodies. A great resource for me and my family is a book called “The Body Keeps Score.”
Removing Sexual Shame in Your Relationship: The Importance of Honest Communication
But what about your own sexual relationships? It’s important to communicate with your partner about your desires, boundaries, and concerns to build a healthy and fulfilling sex life. Perhaps this is something you have never done and the idea sounds a bit daunting. Yet at the same time you know that your sex life could have so much more to offer.
When you can sit in the discomfort for just a few minutes, you will may discover how having open and honest conversations can lead to deeper intimacy and greater sexual freedom. Don’t be afraid to talk about what you like and don’t like in the bedroom, as well as any concerns or boundaries you may have. Trust me, your partner will appreciate the honesty and it can lead to a stronger relationship overall. Does this still sound too scary to tackle? You can schedule a chat with me here!
Removing Sexual Shame by Talking to Your Kids About Body Exploration
It’s also important to recognize that not all children receive adequate sex education from their parents or schools, which can lead to confusion, shame, and poor decision-making regarding sexual health practices. Yes, the education starts when kids are young so they are learning they have fingers, toes, eyeballs, a vulva and so on. As a mom of 4 in my 30s, it’s embarrassing to admit I only recently learned the difference between a vulva and a vagina. Let’s educate ourselves better so we can educate our kids better, shall we?
It’s okay to ask your kids questions such as whether they have ever touched themselves or masturbated. Body exploration is positive, and parents should create a safe place where children can ask questions and learn about their bodies using proper terminology. It’s also important to debunk the myths surrounding female sexuality and encourage body exploration as a positive aspect of sexual development. By doing so, you as parents can empower your kids to make informed decisions about their sexual health and wellbeing that will serve them the rest of their lives.
Removing sexual shame is not an overnight process, and it’s important to be patient with yourself and keep the conversation going. By doing so, you can experience true sexual freedom and live your life authentically. It’s time to break down the barriers and remove the shame and guilt surrounding sex. Let’s start the conversation and empower ourselves and the next generation to make informed decisions about our sexual health and wellbeing.
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Email Jessica B. your questions: Jessica@jessicaleighbiles.com